Breastfeeding Challenge

Oh i can't begin to describe the challenges i've faced with breastfeeding.

Upon reading about the many benefits of breastfeeding, I have decided to breastfeed my baby(exclusively if possible) when i was pregnant with her.

So after delivering my baby (via emergency C-section), I told the nurse that I want to breastfeed exclusively. So they brought baby to me the first day when she cried. I put her to my breast......I struggled to get her to latch-on. No sign of milk. But i did not give up. I persevered. I'm educated enough to know that sometimes, milk might not come in for the first 3 days.

At every feed for the first 3 days, i struggled with her......i struggled with my own breast. And i hated myself not being able to produce milk to feed my poor hungry baby. 2 days without any food for baby, my heart sank. My poor baby must be terribly hungry....I gave in. I opt for mix-feed. In which at every feeding time, baby will be brought to me for breastfeeding and if needed, the nurses will top-up with formula milk.

Uncontrollable tears came streaming down my cheeks on day 3 when i was having breakfast in the hospital bed....I was very emotional about not being able to produce milk to feed my baby. But everyday i persevered. I tried my best getting my baby to suck. Even investing in an electrical pump to stimulate the milk production. Finally i manage to get a few drops of precious milk!! I was extremely happy that i could finally feed my baby.

However, my struggle doesn't end there. My baby doesn't seem satisfied with the breast, i guess she is used to being cup-fed by the nurses and so she doesn't like the slow flow of my milk. My baby wants to gulp!! sigh....So i continue to supplement every feed with 1 or 2 oz of formula through cup-feeding.

Though i experiences engorgement and leaking breast at the first month, i struggled to breastfeed my baby. She couldn't latch-on properly causing milk to drip all over her face. Sometimes, i just give up and gave in to formula. Night feeds was mostly formula because I was tired and too lazy to breastfeed. Sigh....I also stopped breastfeeding her when she develop pretty bad milk rash all over her face. Though i did continue to pump, my milk supply never increased. At most i manage to pump out 2oz per session from both breast.
I regret not being persistent in my breastfeeding efforts. I would have been able to increase the milk production if i get her to suck more often.

Now at the 4th week of my 2 months old baby, im still struggling to establish my milk supply, but I have not given up totally yet, I pump whenever I can and breastfeed her whenever I can....
still struggling.....but not giving up just yet.